


plans

by cosmicchris



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Model Park Chanyeol, Overnight, Post-High School, Singer Byun Baekhyun, Time Skips, i dont know how to tag it, idk i wrote this forever ago, in twelve hours, junmyeon is mom, this is a rollercoaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 07:02:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19901716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicchris/pseuds/cosmicchris
Summary: "if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfiedand illuminate the no's on their vacancy signsif there's no one beside you when your soul embarksthen i'll follow you into the dark"started 21/11/18     finished 22/11/18





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on the death cab album plans and i wrote each chapter while listening to the song that it correlates with on repeat so i recommend listening to the album while reading

_"but while you debate half empty or half full  
it slowly rises, your love is gonna drown" _

"y'know, if i could take every ocean in the entire world- even undiscovered ones, or underground ones, or anything. any body of water -and put it all in one spot, it still wouldn't sum up how much i fucking adore you." 

"you're such a sap." 

"you love it."

he stood on the edge of the rocky cliff, the stone cold beneath his feet. leaning forward just enough to look over, his heartbeat calmed slightly when he saw a shirtless chanyeol in the water below him. it looked so, so far, but he had just watched several other people make the jump. chanyeol did it twice, just to prove to him that it was okay. 

"i'll catch you, okay?" 

"then we'd both drown!" 

eventually, between the pestering of his boyfriend and a very determined kim jongin, they managed to convince him to make the jump. (only because jongin threatened to climb up there and push him, and if there was anything that byun baekhyun was certain of, it was that jongin was a lot stronger than him.) the cold hit him like a truck, and he slid through the water effortlessly; he was still moving downwards when he felt a hand grab onto his, and suddenly he was being hauled up. his head broke the surface and there were strong arms around him and he gasped, momentarily in shock from both the impact and the cold. 

"oh, sorry. i forgot that you're the size of a twelve year old." 

"fuck off, channie." 

"alright." 

he felt the arms encircling him vanish and he panicked, immediately reaching out and grabbing onto chanyeol's broad shoulders. his fingernails dug into the skin and he didn't feel bad at the yelp that it caused. 

he glared at the face in front of his: the wide, shining eyes and the elf ears that he used to hate. chanyeol looked so soft when he smiled, all the sharp lines of his jaw and cheekbones blurring into something much sweeter. baekhyun's glare softened after a few seconds, and it only made chanyeol smile brighter.

"we can't be late, come on!" 

"i'm coming, i'm- put me down!" 

sometimes baekhyun kinda despised park chanyeol, and this was one of those times.

the taller of the two had literally swept him off of his feet, thrown him over his shoulder, and was carrying him through the crowded lobby of the movie theatre. baekhyun could feel people staring and his cheeks were heating up in embarassment, but he had to admit that his boyfriend's longer legs covered space much quicker. and people moved for a giant; not so much for a 5'9 boy who still looked like a child. 

they reached the right door, and chanyeol finally set him back on his feet. baekhyun was reaching for the metal handle of the door when chanyeol grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers and pulling baekhyun against his side before leaning down and kissing him softly. baekhyun pulled away a few seconds later, slipping out of chanyeol's grip and heading for the door. 

"we can't be late, remember?" 

"oh my god," chanyeol laughed, following him into the darkness of the theatre nevertheless.

the lock slid into place with a heavy click, and baekhyun toed his loosely tied sneakers off of his feet and left them by the door. he walked into the kitchen, nearly jumping out of his skin when he saw his mom sitting on one of the bar stools. 

"jesus, don't scare me like that," baekhyun spoke, dramatically placing a hand against his chest as he grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge. his mom didn't answer, and he sobered up as he sat beside her. "what's wrong?" 

the woman was silent for a few seconds too many. she took one of baekhyun's hands in her own, staring down at their intertwined fingers. "how are you and chanyeol?" 

the question was so sudden that baekhyun was taken aback; he slumped down in his chair a little as he studied her. "fantastic. as always." she didn't look up, or stop playing with his fingers. "why?" 

again, his question was met with a lengthy silence. he could feel the tension in the air, almost visible enough to cut with a knife. but he wasn't going to do that. he'd rather sit back and watch this, carefully, because it wasn't often that his mom got this serious. 

"you're graduating in a week, baek." 

"yeah?" 

"how long do you think you're gonna last?" 

baekhyun's eyes widened before narrowing, confusion taking over his expression. he definitely hadn't been expecting this, definitely not on a random tuesday midnight. "why?" he asked, struggling to find words that he could shove past the lump that had suddenly formed in the back of his throat. "mom, we've been together for almost three years. everything's fine. everything's gonna keep being fine." 

he watched as her mouth opened, but he cut her off. 

"we'll make it work, okay? it'll be okay. don't worry, momma. he won't break my heart." 

she finally met his gaze, and the emotion in them nearly broke his heart right then and there. 

baekhyun leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead and saying a quick goodnight before he disappeared into his room, the water bottle forgotten.

that night, baekhyun couldn't sleep, his thoughts bouncing around much too restlessly. junmyeon had said something similar to him a few months ago, and the elder had proved reason to be trusted many times. but it didn't feel right. 

as the clock on his nightstand hit 2am, he reached for his phone, dialing the first number he thought of. 

"hello?" 

"minseok," baekhyun spoke softly. 

"jesus, kid, you alright?" 

"yeah. i just need a few questions answered." 

"no, you're not pregnant. and i'm, like, very sure that chanyeol's clean. you're fine." 

the groan that left his lips must have been frustrated enough that the bitterness made its way through the phone line, because minseok quickly grew more serious. 

"sorry, i've been up for like two days. what's up?" 

over the next hour, minseok reassured him countlessly that they would be fine. it would be hard, and he knew that; but minseok was adamant in the fact that they would be okay. so baekhyun hung up after a drawn out 'thank you', snuggling back into his covers with a hopeful smile tilting his lips upwards. 

they would be fine.


	2. two.

_"i cannot guess what we'll discover_  
when we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels  
but i know our filthy hands can wash one another's  
and not one speck will remain" 

"hey, babe? did you eat all of my cereal?" 

"channie. we live together. food is community property." 

"oh my god, you did!" 

"community property!"

baekhyun was very bad at being an adult, and chanyeol, somehow, seemed even worse. 

they'd only lived on their own for a few months, and there had already been half a dozen instances in which junmyeon had to come to their apartment and teach them how to do things. "very simple, easy things that literally everyone over the age of eighteen knows how to do," according to the embittered twenty one year old as he helped chanyeol with something that baekhyun wasn't interested enough in to pay attention to. baekhyun suggested that the elder try getting laid to ease his sky-high levels of stress. baekhyun had a bruise on his arm for a week.

most of their time was spent playing video games, binging game of thrones or cuddling in bed. baekhyun kicked chanyeol out at least once a week to write, claiming that he couldn't write with a very nosy tree clinging to him, and chanyeol used that time wisely. sometimes he'd meet up with available friends- usually just jongin, sehun and jongdae though, since jongdae went to their college and the younger two were still in high school. other times, he would search for a newfound hole-in-the-wall coffee shop or flower store and pick something up for baekhyun. the first time that baekhyun walked into his 8am class and was greeted by a giant vase of obnoxiously red roses and a card addressed to him by none other than "yeollie <3", he was embarassed. it was almost weekly now, though, and he was more than used to it. 

baekhyun was much more... quiet in his affection. he never let chanyeol near his sacred songbook because over half of what it contained was about the tall boy, at least to some degree. late at night, he'd get so cuddly that chanyeol couldn't go anywhere without him. if he had to be out earlier than the younger, he always made breakfast and made sure to leave enough coffee. once baekhyun had left early in the morning to run to the store after he realised that they were out of chanyeol's favourite creamer, and he locked himself out. in the rain. he had sent chanyeol a simple text so as not to wake him, and when chanyeol came to the door an hour later in nothing but boxers and with sleep still muddling his features, he was furious, worried that baekhyun would end up catching a cold. he did, but he still thought it was worth it.

"hey, chanyeol. chaaaaanie. yeollie. chan. yeol. wake up." 

chanyeol almost growled as he buried his face back into the pillow, and baekhyun giggled. 

"why?"

"it's monday." 

"oh." chanyeol sat up after a few more seconds, glaring at baekhyun with sleepy eyes. "why are you here, then?" 

"because it's labor day and my professor isn't a dumbass," he said softly, shifting foreward so that he could rest his forehead against chanyeol's shoulder. the younger of the two wrapped his arms around baekhyun's waist, pulling him closer. 

"don't wanna go," chanyeol muttered, his lips against baekhyun's cheek. 

"then don't," baekhyun immediately countered. he sat back up, raising his eyebrows as he looked at chanyeol. "but i have songs that need to be written. you wanna try to help?" 

"sleep first." chanyeol grabbed baekhyun's arm and yanked him foreward, pushing the elder down on the bed and laying on top of him. "write later." 

"i can't breathe, channie-" 

chanyeol shifted slightly, still mostly laying on top of his boyfriend. "i can feel you breathing. don't lie to me, baek. lying is rude." 

"you're the worst."

"lying is rude."

"i wish that i could, like," baekhyun spoke as he stared holes into chanyeol's face, "turn you into a melody. that would be the best goddamn song i've ever written." 

"shut up, you little shit," chanyeol said through laughter, bringing his hands up to his face and nervously raking them through his hair. he was staring studiously at baekhyun's sock-covered toes, not used to his boyfriend gazing at him as if he were trying to take him apart. "y'know, eyefucking me isn't gonna help you find that melody." chanyeol's eyes widend seconds later as he realised how provocative his words sounded, and the two spent the next five minutes laughing until they couldn't breathe. 

somewhere in the midst of the outburst, baekhyun stopped enough to place his hands on either side of chanyeol's cheeks, kneeling beside him on the floor. "this," he whispered, tilting his head until their foreheads touched. "i want to turn this into a song. want to be able to listen to it anywhere. everywhere. you're my melody, chan. only song i want to hear." 

chanyeol's cheeks were hot underneath baekhyun's palms, the red tinting his nose. as if it would hide it, he leaned forward and kissed baekhyun, trying to ignore the giggling against his lips. expectedly, that only ended up with more giggling, and when jongdae showed up at the door with a declaration of movie night, he found the two in hysterics in the floor.


	3. three.

_"i don't recall a single care_  
_just greenery and human hair_  
_then labor day came and went  
_ _and we shed what was left of our summer skin"_

the first frost came unexpectedly, and with it the last of the leaves fell to the ground. the cold was getting severe enough that it crept into the very marrow of your bones like spiders, taking root and making cobwebs all throughout your body. with the trees having traded brilliant tones of golds and oranges and yellows for a dull gray and the pale blue of a sky foreshadowing snow, their moods seemed to change, too. 

they'd lived together for six or seven months now; baekhyun wasn't quite sure right off the top of his head. he wasn't exactly keeping count. slowly but surely they were getting used to the concept of being adults. but it was more exhausting than either of them had anticipated. 

there were slowly more and more mornings during which baekhyun wouldn't make breakfast, and the flowers waiting for him in class became more rare. neither of them were bothered, though, because they both understood the circumstances to be inevitable. sometimes, when baekhyun got home late at night and found chanyeol passed out on the couch, the tv casting flickering light over the room and chanyeol's work clothes still firmly clinging to his body, he worried. but he never let the worry dig too deep, because he would wake chanyeol up, drag him to take a shower and clean up before they'd go to bed, and there were just as many sleepy kisses and cuddling sessions as there used to be. there were still those moments, baekhyun knew: those moments in which he saw chanyeol, his boyfriend of four years and who he was pretty sure was the love of his life. he still looked at chanyeol and saw everything in him, even if it was three am and the younger was panicking over an assignment due in five hours.

baekhyun still loved him. he loved him in the way that channie held his hand as if he were scared to let go, and how he always rested his head on baekhyun's shoulder when they were watching a movie despite being six inches taller. he loved him in the way that he knew exactly how to get baekhyun out of bed on the days where the world felt like it wanted him in the ground more than normal. baekhyun still loved him, so, so much. 

and as the season grew into a short-lived autumn that bled into winter just as fast as it had come, baekhyun could feel it changing, and he knew that chanyeol could too. neither spoke a word of it, though. 

but they could feel it.


	4. four.

_"coasts disappear when the sea drowns the sun_   
_i've got no words to share with anyone"_

he could still feel baekhyun's tears trapped between the soft skin of his cheeks and chanyeol's fingers.

he had always hated to see baekhyun cry. 

but when he was signed with a modeling agency after he finished his first year of college, he couldn't turn the job down; it was too good of a deal at such a young age. the only downside was that he would have to go to europe for two years. he told baekhyun as soon as he knew, and two weeks later they stood at the airport, the elder sobbing into the fabric of his sweater to the point of barely being able to speak. chanyeol had held him tightly, making promise after promise that he knew probably meant nothing to the heartbroken boy, but he had to try. he felt helpless. 

he didn't cry. at least not in front of baekhyun. 

thinking back on it, chanyeol wasn't sure if that was the best idea. 

when he had first broken the news to him, baekhyun immediately claimed that he couldn't do long distance, and chanyeol understood; he wasn't sure he could handle it himself. 

he felt like a part of what they had cherished for so long had died at that airport, and, in a way, it had.

he spent the next twenty four months flitting between countries and cities like a bat around a cave, and he felt as trapped as a bat; trapped in the wild unfamiliarity of europe. even months later, whenever he went somewhere new, despite the fact that they hadn't talked in weeks he still thought of his not-quite-ex boyfriend and wondered if he could speak the language. baekhyun had always had an affinity for languages, and he liked learning about them.

chanyeol got used to the lonely nights and even lonelier mornings. he got used to the cold of an empty bed and having to make coffee himself. he so often forgot to buy creamer that he eventually started drinking it black. and if there was anything that chanyeol hated, it was black coffee. 

sometimes, he thought of baekhyun at the worst of times. he could be in the middle of a shoot or, a few times, actively on the runway when he thought of the tiny fluffy-haired boy with the too-bright smile and he would have to hold back tears.   
he hadn't known it was possible to miss someone so much it physically hurt, but the ache that seemed to fill his hollow heart reassured him that he was wrong. 

he wasn't a very sociable person anymore, either; he missed the people back home, and it haunted him enough that he couldn't really talk to people outside of his profession without thinking of them. talkative people with curly hair reminded him of jongdae; wide gummy smiles on soft faces reminded him of minseok; alarmingly handsome faces with surprisingly kind personalities that seemed out of place among the false normality of the world reminded him of jongin. and he could find baekhyun in almost anything. 

despite the memories constantly clouding his thoughts, he got used to it. 

maybe he was just scared to go home.

and he was, honestly. he was scared that nothing would be the same, was scared about what would happen if he was right and everything had changed. chanyeol knew that people always said nothing ever really changes, but he knew better. and, unfortunately, he wasn't as naive as he used to be.


	5. five.

_"i got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black_   
_and i held my tongue as she told me,_   
_son, fear is the heart of love, so i never went back"_

chanyeol didn't tell baekhyun when he was coming back, and maybe that was a mistake.

when he showed up at the door with two suitcases and a watery smile, jongdae answered it in nothing but his underwear and an oversized white tee shirt. "holy shit," he had breathed out, grabbing chanyeol's arm and dragging him into the apartment, abandoning the luggage at the door. 

baekhyun cried almost as much as he had at the airport. but this time, chanyeol cried too.

he broke down as soon as he saw his boyfriend sprawled out on the couch, a pizza box sitting open on the coffee table. they didn't let go of each other for half an hour.

"your hair's pink." 

"what?"

"your hair." chanyeol spoke softly, his chin resting on baekhyun's shoulder. the elder had been sitting in his lap for so long that his leg was going numb, but he didn't mind. "'s pink. i like it." 

"thanks." 

they lapsed into a comfortably heavy silence, chanyeol content just to hum random melodies and rub circles into baekhyun's hands, before baekhyun broke it. 

"you can't do that again." 

he didn't answer at first, stopping the movements of his fingers to intertwine them with baekhyun's before he squeezed. "i know."

"i didn't know what to do without you," baekhyun spoke softly, and chanyeol could hear the vunerability in his voice. "jongdae's been staying with me most of the time because i just.. i couldn't. i can't not have you around. i always made too much coffee. every single morning. dae doesn't even drink coffee." 

"i'm not leaving again," chanyeol said, his voice final. "i shouldn't have in the first place. god, i couldn't get you out of my head, baek. i shouldn't have went. it was stupid." 

"it wasn't stupid. you secured a career and made more money than i'll probably make in the next five years." baekhyun trailed off, twisting around slightly so that he could cuddle into chanyeol's chest. "i just... i wish i could've been there, y'know? i've been there for everything. i was even in the er with you when you broke your arm in third grade. and i wasn't there for two whole goddamn years. it doesn't seem right." 

"it's not right," chanyeol quickly agreed. "it's so not right, baek. i'm so sorry. i shouldn't have left."

"just don't do it again, yeah? next time i'll come with you." 

"yeah." chanyeol smiled as he pressed a kiss to baekhyun's temple. "next time you'll come with."


	6. six.

_"burn it down 'til the embers smoke on the ground_   
_and start new when your heart is an empty room_   
_with walls of the deepest blue"_

it had been almost six months since chanyeol returned, and things were strange. it was so obvious that baekhyun could almost see it, could tangibly feel it before it slipped through his fingers like something caught in peripheral vision. barely there, but noticeable. 

baekhyun spent many late nights at the studio with one of his classmates, kyungsoo, constantly fighting to create something breathtaking. they made a good team. between kyungsoo's stubborn coolness and baekhyun's spontaneity, it balanced out, and they were both excellent songwriters. baekhyun knew that there was utterly nothing more going on, but he always knew that chanyeol hated him getting home at one, two in the morning. for the first few nights that it happened, the younger had waited up for him; but by the fifth time in two weeks, he got home to find the lights off and chanyeol in bed. baekhyun didn't blame him.   
he felt bad, in a way, but conflicted. he wanted chanyeol to do or at least say something about it, but instead he just seemed to be ignoring it. 

chanyeol seemed so distant that baekhyun was beginning to feel like he barely knew him, and he utterly hated it. 

bad days led to later nights in the studio, alone, and junmyeon picking him up because he needed comfort and the self-appointed mom of their friend group in middle school seemed like the best option. when he didn't come home in the morning and chanyeol didn't even text him, he almost gave up on it. they met minseok and yixing for coffee that morning, and the supportive words of his three old friends allowed him to keep believing. 

"he was alone for two years, baek. you had jongdae. he had nothing. he probably just needs time," yixing had said softly, gazing at baekhyun with what was either empathy or pity. he couldn't tell the difference anymore. 

"it's been six months," baekhyun responded. "i feel like i spend more time with kyungsoo than i do chanyeol. he's not himself anymore. and maybe i'm not who i used to be either, but i feel like i'm the only one trying and it fucking sucks. he's always so reserved. i can't get past the shell anymore." 

none of them seems to know what to say in response, and baekhyun understood, because neither did he.


	7. seven.

_"each broken heart will eventually mend_   
_as the blood runs red down the needle and thread_   
_someday you will be loved"_

the lights seeped together in a kaleidoscope of neon, dipping down as he almost fell before righting again as he was pulled back up. he grabbed onto the arm that had hauled him back to his feet and was surprised to find hard muscle under his fingertips. 

"jesus, kid, you been working out?" 

"i'm not a kid anymore," sehun retorted immediately, before ungracefully shoving chanyeol into a booth. he slid into the other side. "we wouldn't be here if i was a kid." 

"you'll always be a kid to me, sehunnie," chanyeol said indignantly, quieting as someone carrying a tray stopped by their table. four shot glasses were sat down on the wood, the tinkling of the glass clinking together momentarily mingling with the background noise of the bar, and chanyeol quickly grew serious. "you- you can't drink that."

sehun picked up one of the shot glasses and threw it back like a goddamned pro, almost slamming it back down onto the polished surface before going for the second and repeating the process. he never broke eye contact, and promptly burst into laughter at chanyeol's almost betrayed expression. 

"when the fuck did you turn twenty one?"

"last spring, princess. while you were away on your beauty trip." 

chanyeol wrinkled his nose in disgust. "do not call it that."

"that's literally what it was." 

a few hours and more than a few shots later, the two were properly drunk, sehun elaborating about something. chanyeol couldn't even remember the something, but he still listened as attentively as he could. 

most of the people had left the bar by the time that they finally stopped laughing, and the silence rapidly became too much for chanyeol. naturally, he ended the silence with what had been bugging him all night, even though he really didn't want to talk about it. he had come here to get drunk with an apparently legal friend, not to be psychoanalysed. 

"i don't think baek and i are in love anymore."

sehun legitimately choked on his beer, coughing for a good three minutes before he looked at chanyeol with teary eyes. 

"what the fuck does that mean?" 

chanyeol flinched back at the harsh tone of voice, albeit being a bit more raspy than normal. he avoided eye contact, staring down at the table. "it doesn't feel the same as it used to. it feels like we're different people. a lot. it's not good." 

"of fucking course you're different people," sehun fired back. "of fucking course you're different. did baekhyun not change at all between tenth grade and your freshman year of college? did you not? am i not different from the annoying ass freshman i was six years ago? everyone changes. that's what life does to people, yeollie. everything changes."

"i know, i know," chanyeol replied, propping his elbows up on the tabletop. "i just miss it. i miss how we were. i think it's my fault. not just for leaving him for so long. i left a part of myself with him, and without me there that part just shriveled up and died and i don't know how to revive it."

"you don't have to revive it, dumbass. you have to adapt. and conquer."

chanyeol contemplated the younger's words for a good two minutes before he declared that oh sehun was a goddamn genius.


	8. eight.

_"'cause at night, the sun in retreat_   
_made the skyline look like crooked teeth_   
_in the mouth of a man who was devouring us both"_

"okay but, like, how fucking cool would it be to graffiti something?"

"...you serious?" 

"hell yeah."

"alright."

to say that baekhyun was confused when his boyfriend demanded he get in the car and gifted him with a giant bag of spray paint would be an understatement. 

"what are we doing?" 

"graffiti-ing things. sehun gave me a list of good places. i'm genuinely worried about him at this point. 

"why the hell?"

"why am i worried about him? he's traded chocolate milk for tequila, baek-" 

"no, no," baekhyun said amidst laughter. "why are we graffiti-ing things? you're late to the oh sehun is a fucking mess party, by the way. he's been drinking for years." 

"that actually makes a lot of sense," chanyeol muttered under his breathe, avoiding baekhyun's question until the elder lightly punched his arm. "last night you said it'd be fun, so we're doing it." 

"it'd be fun but it's illegal!" baekhyun countered, eyes wide. "we can't- no!" 

chanyeol was already driving, and baekhyun couldn't really put up much of a fight. 

baekhyun was glad he'd worn old clothes; spray paint went everywhere if you didn't know how to use it. 

by the end of the night, though, he knew how to use it. sehun's list had definitely been helpful, as they didn't see a single cop and had been able to spend hours covering the cracked walls in vibrant lines that sometimes formed more than that and other times were simple scribbles. baekhyun's face hurt from laughing, his smile so wide that it felt like his cheeks were going to be stuck in that position permanently. chanyeol looked the same, especially whenever he grabbed baekhyun with one hand and the bag of paint with the other, claiming to have seen a cop as he ran to the car. 

as soon as the doors were closed and baekhyun could glance around, he quickly realised that there were no cops. he opened his mouth to speak, turning towards chanyeol, but was instead met with soft lips against his. the kiss was so aggressively unexpected that it stole all of the air from his lungs, and he was somewhat thankful that chanyeol pulled back when he did because baekhyun had forgotten how to breathe sometime ago. he didn't say anything, just sat and looked at chanyeol as the taller stared back at him. finally, chanyeol smiled and turned the key, and the moment was broken when baekhyun screamed when he fishtailed out of the parking lot, but it was worth it. 

now they sat on the edge of the tracks at a train station, a six pack beside them. the skyline was laid out in front of them like dominoes, and baekhyun scooted closer to chanyeol. the younger wrapped his arm around baekhyun's waist, resting his head against baekhyun's. 

"i'm sorry."

"for?" baekhyun asked, closing his eyes to concentrate on the soft rumble of his boyfriend's voice. 

"everything. being so zoned out lately. being dead. sehun snapped some sense back into me, i hope." 

"what did he say?" 

"'you don't have to revive it, dumbass. just adapt. and conquer.' except he said conquer in such a him way i can't recreate it so it's lost like half of its meaning." 

"he's not wrong." baekhyun shifted closer, their thighs now pressing together. "don't leave again. don't go back in that shell. i missed you." 

"i'm back, love. i'm back." 

"good."


	9. nine.

_"and i knew that you were truth_   
_i would rather loose_   
_than to have never lain beside at all"_

the sunlight filtered in through the blinds in soft golden slants across the carpet. it was finally warm enough to leave the windows open overnight, and chanyeol could hear birds singing outside the window. baekhyun still slept peacefully, and chanyeol was enjoying every moment of this. he never woke up before baekhyun, and he despised it, because the elder looked so peaceful when he slept. 

turning slightly, he grabbed his phone, texting "sehoe" (he was still proud of that nickname) that he 'has the most beautiful boyfriend in existence'. sehun answered quickly, only to brag about being right. chanyeol rolled his eyes, setting his phone back down and returning his full attention to baekhyun. 

his lips were slightly parted, hair falling over his forehead in soft waves. chanyeol couldn't tear his eyes away.

slowly but surely, chanyeol knew he was re-falling for baekhyun. or maybe he had always been in love with him and it was just in remission for a bit; he wasn't sure, nor did he really care. as long as he had baekhyun, he didn't care. 

baekhyun had recently gotten signed at a record label with kyungsoo, so that meant even more late nights, sometimes even all-nighters if they had a deadline. chanyeol tried his best to understand, and he did. despite the understanding, he was still concerned that maybe baekhyun didn't love him as much as chanyeol loved him. 

chanyeol knew that baekhyun was more subtle with his affection. he always had been, for the past several years. but he still had his suspicions. 

finally, one night that baekhyun didn't get back til almost four am and he came home to see chanyeol pacing in the living room, chanyeol broke down in front of him. 

the younger of the two cried for what felt like hours, baekhyun carefully asking questions to get chanyeol to tell him everything. and when he did, baekhyun almost started crying, too. 

"fuck, i- i'm sorry, babe. i'm just so fucking stressed with this company, we have this huge deadline and kyungsoo and i are both in the middle of the worst writers' block of the century and just- don't feel like that. please. you're my entire goddamn world, even if i'm bad at showing it. don't even doubt that. you're my everything. you're the only thing that gets me out of bed sometims, yeollie. you mean everything to me. i'm just really fucking bad at expressing shit like that." 

"yeah, i- i know," chanyeol laughed softly, still sniffling. "remember in sixth grade when baby jongin printed out a picture of his dog and gave it to you because you were sad and you couldn't even say thank you after he hugged you? you're so bad at emotions."

"exactly! exactly. there's my proof. thanks."

they kept talking like that for hours, and when they finally fell asleep with the sky beginning to lighten, chanyeol slept better than he had in years.


	10. ten.

_"but even at our swiftest speed_   
_we couldn't break from the concrete_   
_in the city where we still reside"_

"is anyone there yet? ah, shit, i didn't think we'd be this late- kyungsoo's dropping me off now-" 

"invite him."

"what?" 

baekhyun could hear the huff on the other side of the phone. "this is literally a celebration of you writing a hit fucking song. kyungsoo wrote it too. and i wanna meet him. invite. him."

two hours later, nine people sat in a circle in junmyeon's living room. baekhyun was amazed by how quickly jongin had taken to kyungsoo, and he was glad. he had been worried that his friend would feel out of place amongst the group who had known each other for over a decade, but everyone liked him and he seemed as at ease as baekhyun ever saw him a few drinks in. 

sehun was drunk as fuck, and everyone could physically feel junmyeon's disapproval as jongdae and minseok only egged the youngest on. baekhyun found it more funny than anything, leaning over to whisper in chanyeol's ear "i guess you weren't the only one late to the party." 

yixing suddenly appeared from the kitchen carrying a new bottle of vodka. he set it down on the coffee table, sitting beside it and glancing over to where sehun was laying flat on his back. "is he asleep?" 

"i don't fucking sleep. fuck you." 

"language!" 

"junmyeon, he's- he's almost 24, hun," jongdae piped up cheerfully, shrinking back when junmyeon's angry eyes turned to him. 

"not in my house he isn't." 

"if that's how it works then i'm twenty one again," minseok said with a laugh, and baekhyun looked over at where the oldest of the group sat against the couch. 

"you literally still look like a fourteen year old," chanyeol said before baekhyun could. 

"i do not feel like a fourteen year old," minseok argued, crossing his arms over his chest. "i'm almost thirty now, child. respect me." 

"you've been pulling the hyung card since highschool-" baekhyun spoke up, only to be silenced by the rather adorably irritated minseok. 

"i wouldn't have to if you left my height alone. that is a sensitive topic and you know it." 

"yeah, cause you're a dwarf." 

chanyeol had pretty much always been the bane of minseok's existence, so when minseok lunged at him and jongdae tackled him to the floor (sehun tried to, but he made it about two feet before sitting back down), baekhyun just watched the whole thing, laughing his ass off. 

"oh my god, you guys are still insane." 

"hey, where did kyungsoo and jongin go?" yixing asked suddenly, and baekhyun looked to his left, where jongin had been sitting, and sure enough, they were both gone. 

"fucking. twenty bucks says they're fucking." 

"shut up, sehun."

"man, i miss high school." 

chanyeol stared at him, seemingly unable to process his words. "what?"

"well, no. i miss the people. and i kinda do miss high school." 

baekhyun kicked his shoes off by the door, leading the way to the bedroom before plopping down onto the bed. chanyeol threw his shirt into the dirty clothes hamper, his back to baekhyun as he searched for a clean one. "elaborate."

"ugh, fine," baekhyun groaned, laying back against the blankets. "i miss how excited jongdae would get about choir, and all the concerts. and jongin every time he saw the ALE teacher's dog, or scored a touchdown. and junmyeon's face when jongin scored a touchdown! what a proud captian. remember when minseok needed sehun, who was a fucking freshman, to help play his senior prank, and they fucking glued all the lockers shut? and then neither of them got in trouble. and remember when you brought your guitar to school and like half of the girls were swooning over you and then you just kissed me in front of all of them? and jesus, the talent show. dae and i won so fucking hard. i still have the medal somewhere. it was a fucking mess, but we were all so content. it was good. adulthood is hard."

"you've been doing it for seven years, babe," chanyeol said, sitting down beside him. "but yeah, i understand. it sucks sometimes. at least we still get to see them." he laid back agaisnt the pillows, propping himself up on an elbow to look down at baekhyun, who was staring up at him with puppy dog eyes. "we've all been friends now for, what? a dozen years? and we still have a group chat. that's special. we'll all be eighty years old and sehun will still be drunk, jumyeon will be yelling at him, minseok and jongdae will be doing stupid shit, yixing and jongin will probably be the only sane ones left. i'll still be playing guitar, and you'll still be waking everyone up at the crack of dawn on christmas and every time it snows. we'll still be us, and we'll still be together." 

"that's good." baekhyun turned to his side so that he could face chanyeol. "sometimes i feel like everything is moving so fast around the nine of us, and we're all moving so slow. like we're gonna be left out. but... i guess, even if we are, we still have each other. and that's what matters." 

baekhyun's eyes were slipping closed as he spoke, and he could feel chanyeol's eyes on him. the younger was silent for a few seconds, and baekhyun was falling asleep. 

"byun baekhyun?"

"hmm?" 

"will you marry me?"


	11. eleven.

_"we'll rest easy._   
_justified."_

"channie, your phone's ringing!" 

baekhyun's voice echoed through the hall, and he heard the response in seconds. "just answer it!" 

apprehensively, baekhyun slid the little green icon over before pressing the phone to his ear. "hello?" 

"hi, is this park chanyeol?" the voice was female, and baekhyun didn't recognise it.

"no, this is his husband," he answered, lifting his shoulder to free his hands. he had been making popcorn when chanyeol's phone went off. 

"ah, hello, baekhyun sir!" baekhyun wondered momentarily how she knew his name but didn't bother questioning it. "may i speak with him, or should i just leave the message with you?"

"leave it with me." 

"alright." she launched into what was essentially a lecture, going in circles around the main point until baekhyun finally coaxed her to hang up, feeling too rude to do it himself. the phone in hand, he speed-walked to the bedroom, almost jumping up and down in front of chanyeol. 

chanyeol looked up from his laptop in confusion, laughing as he saw baekhyun bouncing. "what is it?"

"somebody from your agency called. they need you in europe by next week. munich, paris, vienna, florence, some places that sounded so pretentious that i don't remember their names. she said after the tour's over the ceo wants to talk to you about a promotion. and i can go." 

"you want to?" chanyeol asked, his eyes wide in excitement. 

"are you joking? i've never been out of the state, of course i want to go!" 

chanyeol texted the group chat a simple "beauty trip 2.0!" and almost everyone seemed devastated. he quickly assured them that baekhyun was going with him, and the disapproval rapidly turned into excitement.

the day before chanyeol and baekhyun left, they all met in junmyeon's house, sitting in a circle like normal. they drank to more than just the possible promotion and traveling: they drank to the fact that minseok had graduated 10 years ago, and that they'd all been friends for that goddamn long outside of school when everyone always said that nobody ever kept school friendships going. of course, instead of going to a reunion, they all sat on a cold floor as they had hundreds of times before, surrounded by people they loved.

the next ten months flew by smoothly. five star hotels were becoming home, and honestly, between the views and the hot tubs, baekhyun wasn't complaining. there was one spot that they had stopped on the tour that baekhyun swore he wanted to go back to, and sure enough, after it was over, they went back. it was near the coastline of italy, the rolling hills a beautiful green that was dotted with pockets of colourful flowers. they walked through the downtown streets hand in hand, stopping in every store at least for a few minutes. chanyeol bought him an expensive gold necklace that had the sun on it, and he bought a matching silver one with the moon on it for himself, explaining that he gave the sun to baekhyun and kept the moon for himself because he felt that he only shone so brightly sometimes because of the light that baekhyun gave him.

a few days became a few weeks, and by the time they realised that they should be heading back home, neither of them wanted to leave. so they didn't. 

they found a little house by the seaside, only half a mile from the main downtown area, despite the other side of the house leading out onto the hills that seemed to stretch on forever. 

they planted a garden of vegetables and herbs and baekhyun befriended an old lady who lived next to them. she taught them both how to cook traditional dishes, despite chanyeol being as fluent in italian as a rock. baekhyun, however, was picking it up fast. they were happy, despite missing their friends.

"remember back in highscool," chanyeol said softly from where he layed in the bed, baekhyun's head resting on his chest, "when we always said we'd end up far away, in our own little world? our own people?" 

baekhyun tilted his head back to look at him, smiling softly. "yeah. i do."

"i think we found it, baek." 

"i think we did, too."


End file.
